Gestures

Thought a lot about being abroad today. Being abroad, and just going to college in general. How I feel so disconnected from my life back in the US. When I'm away from all of my old friends from past places, hometown, college back home, how do they maintain contact with me? Is it indicative of how close we are? Are those little gestures, such as asking for my address, telling? Even if they don't send me a postcard, it shows that, hey, they at least thought about it. Do they ask how I'm doing, unprovoked? Or am I the one who must initiate? Am I also at fault for the lack of thoughtful gestures, indications that I still remember who they are? My e-mails/updates are full of exclamations, awe-worthy statements, while their responses are absent. Thanks a lot, jerk, last time I respond to your dumb message. How can I possibly sum up, "How's South Africa?" Too many things to say. Too many ways to say it.

And when you are home..the people who are bored call you up. You talk about all those nitty-gritty details about what happened while you were gone, so it's like your best friends, but once you're back to where you were, college, another country, they honestly couldn't be more disinterested. The immediate gratification of seeing them is gone. But they still insist that you maintain close contact.

I sent out many postcards. No one asked me for my address, except for my stepmother and a high school friend. The thoughtful gestures have been doled out, with absolutely no expectation for a return in favor. But after months, no acknowledgment, no thanks. I feel somewhat obligated, being so far away, to acknowledge those who have been meaningful in my life (at least somewhat). And I hate to say it, but I do feel hurt. How do I respond to this slap in the face? Do I ignore those who continue to ignore me? (Grrr FB threads)

More importantly, why does it feel like I am being ignored?

Regular ol' monday

Today was pretty standard. I woke up, biked to Life Science, fell asleep, went to my next class, English, and slept through the movie. Afterward, I had lunch, napped, and went to my last class, Anthro M186. We had our second simulation for the class. I was placed in the competition/games group, which meant that for every decision we made, we had to play a competitive game to determine the winner. We had a difficulty grasping this concept. We attempted a game of capture the flag, but that failed. Instead, we were lazy, and our group glommed onto the all-women's group, which stood for peace, unity, and equality (is this sexist? I wasn't sure. I thought that since we live in such a modern and progressive society, we could overcome these limitations biology has placed on us, and we can all be peace-loving. Clearly not.) Simulations are interesting in theory but dumb in practice. The rules are stupid and there isn't much you can do. I basically stand around, nod in agreement, or say nothing if I don't care/don't agree. Also, I find it really interesting that certain students assume leadership and responsibility. Do they care more about this simulation and want to "win"? Are they natural leaders? Or do they simply want to run rampant with the responsibility and order people around? Not sure, don't care. I'm one of those who stand in the background, indifferent. I'm too tired to actually act out a simulation that was similar to the last one we did. Boooooooring.

Onsamehangend gedagte

I've been meaning to start a blog, in preparation for going abroad. I wanted to keep people posted on my activities in such a far away country, but I was persuaded to start it a little earlier than expected (thx to Mel). Some of those words on this site are in Afrikaans as a way to force myself to learn new vocabulary. I am a little more inclined to use the dictionary if it's for something that will directly affect me (as opposed to some silly test). I'm still trying to figure my way around this site/my life, so bear with me!